Open The Treasure Box

Women have always been the strong ones of the world. The men are always seeking from women a little pillow to put their heads down on. They are always longing for the mother who held them as infants. Women are about fifty percent of the population of the world. They play tremendously important role in the development of the world, in different spheres.  I love to describe

   Woman as  Wonderful

                             One-of-a-kind

                              Magical

                            Affectionate                                                         

                            Nobel

A born caretaker who takes on the role of making everyone around her feel safe, secure and loved at all times. She is Emotional, empathetic, self-sacrificing, and generous, more willing to put other’s needs before your own, strong, intelligent, curious, loving, beautiful, energetic, loyal, able to bear children, nurturing, honest, smart, wise, kind, helpful etc…  if women is described with these positive and impactful words why have we been infinitely  hearing need for ” Women Empowerment” !

So what is women empowerment? Who does it or where and when does it happen? Can it be an accidental experience or learnt and does it work always? These are few unanswered mental pop ups for many of us. It’s like I know I need it rather I want it but how? 

I believe Women empowerment is empowerment of self. Empowerment is often mistaken as power over others. Rather, it is understanding that you are in charge of your own life. Everyone loves to be happy. It’s very important to understand that happiness is always an inside job. Empowered women will not wait for someone to make them happy and to take care of their need for affection. Self empowerment is a self driven effort and initiative. Life always has different phases as we grow and throws us in changing circumstances, As a whole Life is a series of interconnecting phases. So when we stop to take that honest look at ourselves, we will be empowered only to the degree to which we understand what phase of life we’re in. Everyone’s life is bigger than a single moment. The things that we cherish, the goals that motivate us, and the issues we wrestle with are connected to the period in which we currently find ourselves. Lack of self empowerment is felt when we do not make choices that are always in our own best interest. Indeed, it is impossible to feel empowered if we cannot identify the issues that hold us back. We feel out of control when we try to live up to the expectations of others. Self empowerment can be achieved with constant focus and practice of few simple things like:

Being Happy:  is understanding and accepting ourselves as we are right now. It is liking the way we feel, the way we are and being open to the future without fear. We need not be perfect, rich, have power, know the right people, or achieve success to be happy however being happy is being our own person, making our own decisions, seeking the best in ourselves and in the world. There is only one person who know us the best and that is our self.  

Be Your Own Person: meaning to be in control of our life and not allowing other people to tell us what to do. Fearing risk if we are not our own and others protect us, the protector expects us to behave the way he/she wants us to. We must accept and respect our independence and risk to express ourselves. We will never be trapped if we are our own person. We are always free to correct our mistakes, however it might have hurt others but we are able to apologize and deal with their rejection. This may hurt us at the same time makes us strong enough to love again. Rather than hating ourselves for being weak, inferior and not being our own person it is better to Save ourselves, do what is right for us, express ourselves, find our life and live it. 

Letting Go: is to stop holding something that’s not worth for us. We were hurt, someone trusted betrayed us, and we took a risk and lost. What are we going to do about it? Should we seek revenge or get angry? These are mostly heard when resisting letting go. If there is a scope to make peace make it, however not at the cost of hiding our own hurt or pretending that everything is OK. We need to let go off what doesn’t work for us. Most important lesson to be understood is holding onto impossible is the source of most of our pain. So suffering is just another choice. Awaken and let go off whatever is not working for us.  

Take Responsibility: is to say or admit we are the cause of something and to do what needs to be done to correct the situation if something is bad. When we don’t take responsibility, we give up control to others. Others will never have “our real interests” at heart and why should they do for us when we don’t do it for ourselves. So we should make our interests known to ourselves and we must take action. The first step towards being free is to take responsibilities of everything that we have done and everything that we have avoided doing. The greatest gift that we can give our children is to let them take responsibility for themselves. Do not let others limit your growth by making them take your responsibility. We are responsible for our suffering and responsible for living happily.

Make your life better: It is entirely up to us. Who else knows what we want or need other than ourselves? If we are waiting for something to happen or someone to love us and make our life better we are dreaming to be in a comfortable chair. Wake up!! no one is coming! If someone promises to make our life better probably this someone is going to make it miserable as well. Things are going to be better only if we did something about it. We are put in center of our life to take charge of it. All others are mere observers. They applaud only in wrong places and places of their interest however they hardly notice when we do something good. Others negative comments have more to do with themselves than us. So criticism has limited value and praise is never enough to make our life better. We should make a better life being our own judge and shape our life to follow our instincts, our inclinations and our preferences. 

Follow your heart: Having courage to dream and follow our heart, then what we dream becomes our life. When we tell truth to ourselves it becomes apparent to the world. We must follow what we love and this is always the right direction. 

When our intentions are clear

The path opens up 

Find that course 

Stay on it 

Believe in one self 

And when we lose our direction 

Look inside to find it again. 

It will always be in the same place. 

Be yourself (You are the unchanging you):  We are the same that we were when were children and the same that we will be on our last day. We can only be our best as ourselves and can never be our best being the way we think other people might like. No one can be their best if they don’t feel like themselves. We should be with people in whose presence we will feel being ourselves and at our best. When we have to give up a part of ourselves to be with another person, we always miss the part that we sacrificed in order to be together and we hold the other person hostage for the part of ourselves that we miss. Our work should be about us. It should mirror our best and capture our desire. We should be able to find ourselves by losing ourselves in our work. We don’t have to try; we just have to be ourselves. 

Growing: We all are here to grow into our best. And to be our best there is no rules. We have to guide ourselves at our own pace accepting the truths that we discover about ourselves. Our world grows with us taking responsibility for our mistakes. So we need to be free to grow, to have the emotional room to breathe, to stretch and try our wings, to succeed and especially to fail. In this process of growth if we allow others to be too close then we will always remain a child. Growing is freeing the good that is already there. This can be done by letting go of what doesn’t work for us. We grow most when we live in the belief that we have something to give to the world. So when we don’t grow, everything becomes a repetition of the past. To expect to grow is to stay forever young.

Take time to do nothing: Life has infinite events and too many events fill our day and leave us exhausted without a clear recollection of what we did. Take time for gathering thoughts. Take a walk may be to feel the sun or for listening to the sounds of nature. Keeping all our expectations and schedules aside taking quite time for ourselves will help us realize and acknowledge our happiness as the first priority. When we experience everything and hold on to nothing then we become the world.

Hear your own voice:

Listen!

Stop. Listen……… Inside there is an answer.

What does it say? Inside there is a Voice.

Whom does it serve?

You are the direction.

You are the force.

You are the reason. 

Listen! Shhhh…….

Listen

Find yourself.

Know yourself : We are the sum total of everything we did, thought, said, dreamt, lost, won, promised, avoided, embraced, abandoned, needed, wanted, expressed, held, felt, loved… There is no avoiding ourselves. We are all the good and all the bad. We are the gained and we are the lost. Accepting our own self is the biggest truth. Knowing ourselves is respecting our values in life, our beliefs, our personality, our priorities, our moods, our habits, our magnificent body, and our relationships.

Fix your problems: All lives have chapters in trouble however everyone’s hell is different. None of us can judge how much someone is hurt or what someone is going through. Many of us do not admit to ourselves that we are in problems that need to be resolved.  Don’t run or panic from these problems, Facing the situation and believing what we can do to it and fixing it as soon as we can is the key to being problem free. If in pain express it, if it’s a misunderstanding discuss it or if something is unfair dispute it so when any problem occurs work on it. The best time for it is now and we are the right person to work on it.

These are some of the many ways to empower ourselves. Concluding Self empowerment acknowledges complete responsibility for self and the choices that are made. Connect and balance within and take charge of your emotions and mind (Emotion + Mind power) thus EMPOWER self.

– Archana Saha

The Art of Living – Archana Saha

Zooming in and out through the lens of life, here is my first piece of writing that is coming from different experiences. This is the best piece of advise as a mom to my two amazing boys.

Life

The Art of Living

Life is a short affair; we Should try to make it Smooth and free from strife - Euripides

Life is half spent before one knows what life is - French proverb

The art of life is to know how to enjoy little and endure much - Willian Hazlitt.

What is success-amassing of wealth, collecting of fat salary on easy job, reaching the pinnacle of glory as a businessman, a writer or an inventor, or enjoying thunderous applause as a public speaker, an athlete, or a sport hero? Take the case of man who was is determined to forego all leisure, pastime and enjoyment, in order to spend every moment on amassing wealth. His aim was to be rich enough to afford eating a chicken for supper every night. When he finally became that Rich, he had no appetite for chicken and no teeth to eat it.

There are others who reach the pinnacle of fame, and in their pursuit of power have lost all their friends. When the world lies at their feet, they loose the zest of life. Those of us who take happiness for granted, while we fix our gaze only on success, should recall the story of the little girl who, after a tea-party did a thanks giving prayer of her own. When asked by the hostess, what extra prayer was for, the little one replied: “That was to thank God for my good appetite”.

First Objective:

So make sure that happiness is always your first objective. Do not take it for granted. Do not confuse ‘success’ with ‘happiness’. Many Successful people complain that they are lonely. They join several clubs, yet never seem to find satisfaction. They win new friends only to lose them. Most people who are lonely are so, because they build walls instead of bridges. And the people who have no friends are not those who cannot make friends, but those who cannot keep them. Happiness is not dependent on riches. On the contrary, riches are often the course of unhappiness. Unhappiness is due to greed, worry, jealousy and suspicion. On the other hand, generosity is the prime factor of happiness.

Contentment is essential for happiness because happiness is subjective as well as relative. While striving to better your position, take great care never to feel bitter at delay or temporary defeat. For, discontent is a powerful misery maker. Happy people enjoy what they have; they are content to keep the stars where God placed them, and derive pleasure from gazing at their celestial beauty. The unhappy stretch their eager hand to grab at the stars and grumble when they find them beyond their reach.

Ambitious & Greedy:

This does not mean that, the happy have no desire. But there is a difference; they are people who are thankful for what they have and then ask for more. The miserable, on the other hand, are ambitious and greedy; they take for granted what they get, and keep on snatching at unattainable. Like the dog, in a fable, which saw its reflection in a stream and jumped into snatch the meat from the mouth of the "other dog" thus losing it's own, the unhappy person forgets his own possessions, frets at the good fortune of others and covets the good things of everyone else around. Life to them is like a self-service Cafeteria. Remember that although objective success often depends on circumstances of time, place and people, happiness depends entirely on yourself. When you are tempted to think otherwise, keep repeating the wise words of the philosopher: "You can be happy only if you realise that it is not our position in life that matters but our disposition".

In search of happiness, man has resorted to various types of philosophy: Vedic philosophy, Chinese philosophy, Buddhist philosophy, yoga philosophy, christian philosophy etc... But the common man (and that includes you and me) believes in two main philosophies of life. One maintains that life is what you get from it; the other stress that life is what you give to it.

Learning to Give:

If you want to succeed in life, you must learn to give. If you want to be happy, you must learn to make others happy. There are so many ways of giving. When someone speaks of generosity, we always associate this virtue with money. It is good but this is not so. Most of us are hungry for things which money cannot buy. We all yearn for praise, hungry for appreciation, and long for sympathy and affection. Yet it must be admitted that we ourselves never think of giving these to others. You may top the sales of the day; you may win a new contract; you may get the better of a rival-all these will give you success. At the end of the day, you will find yourself rubbing your palms with the glow of success. But at night when all is quite you will not feel a glow of satisfaction in your innermost soul, unless you have cheered a weary heart, comforted the dejected worker or your Wife and children, heartened the hopeless, put zest into the plodder, or aided the helpless. It is surprising to note that we spend so much time in learning how to achieve success, but so little time in learning how to achieve happiness.

Let us undertake a soul- searching audit of ourselves. Start not from today. Start right now! You will soon find out that if you give to the world the best you have, the best will come back to you.